[Intro]
In the woods of northern Michigan he made his home
Didn’t ask much from the world just wanted to be alone
He got his first real blade at thirteen that’s when it all began
And soon the creatures of the forest called him whittling man
[Coro 1]
Yeah
He whittled all day, and he whittled all night
He whittle, whittle, whittle everything in sight
He whittled on a stick, and he whittled on his shoe
And if you come too close gonna whittle you too
Keep a safe distance if you can
‘Cause you’re never safe around whittling man
[Verso 1]
Had a stump to sit on, had some wood, had his trusty knife
Whittled out a house, a car, and he whittled himself a wife (such a beautiful wife)
With a life, four kids, a swimming pool, and a big Leer jet
And so he wouldn’t be saved by the bell well he whittled a TV set
[Coro 2]
Yeah
He whittled if its light, and he whittled if it’s dark
And if Noah was around well he’d whittle him an ark
He whittled something new and he whittled something old
He whittled something hot and he whittled something rather chilly
Keep a safe distance if you can
‘Cause you’re never safe around whittling man
[Verso 2]
Some say whittling man’s a genius, still others say he’s just dumb
He’s whittled off a foot, an ear, 3 fingers, and his left thumb
Boy is he dumb that won’t stop him
No it won’t he’ll whittle through thick and thin
Once he’s whittled everything he’ll just whittle it all again
[Coro 3]
Yeah
He whittle if it’s white, and he whittled if it’s black
And he whittle on the duck till the duck can't quack
He whittle if it’s dry and he whittle if it’s juicy
He whittle on Desi and whittle on Lucy
He whittle JFK and whittle Jackie O
He whittle on Larry, Curly and Moe
He whittle on Frank Zappa and he whittle on Tipper Gore
Whittle, whittle, whittle till he can’t no more
Whittle Shamu and he whittle on Jaws
Whittle Easter Bunny and he whittle Santa Clause
Whittle, whittle, whittle just as fast as he can
Whittle till he’s dead he’s whittling man