Letra de Enlightened Garbage

Cannibalism is bad. It is! I'm not gonna argue with you. But if you had to eat people to survive, do you think they would taste like their ethnic background? You can get as uncomfortable as you want we're gonna do this joke. Think Mexicans are spicy? Do you have to have chips and salsa before you bite into Jose or can you just dig in? I KNOW guacamole's extra. I'm doing everybody. Chinese people, are you hungry 30 minutes later for more? Get ready black people MM taste like chicken. HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOSH HAHAHAHA. All is fair. White people? You don't eat white people. I'm sorry I don't make the rules. Yeah. That's the way that joke has to end. It's fun, it's fun cause some white people are like "Uh oh... hahahaAHAHAHaHa. I laughed at black people taste like chicken cause I kinda thought you were gonna throw one in our direction. Now you've pretty much hung us out to dry. There's black people here- not a lot, but a couple. One of 'em works here." It's a joke. What if that joke kept me from getting into Heaven. I get up to Heaven and I find out God's black. Yeah he comes walking up to me. "AH THAT JOKE AIN'T FUNNY MOTHERFUCKER LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, BLACK PEOPLE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN HO HO BOW DOWN BITCH WHITE PEOPLE TASTE LIKE MACARONI AND CHEESE!" we'd be like "Oh wow. I didn't know God talked like that." He does. That's how God... talks. I hope that doesn't upset anybody I know that's a very stereotypical voice I used for an African American. How many black comics have you heard in your lifetime go "You know white people, Hi bOB hOw aRE yUo" "gOoD tOM ThANkS fOR AsKIN' YEHUAHUAH HA" I don't sound like that, and I find that voice VERY HURTFUL.
I don't upset black people doing that joke, I had a white woman scream at me once. "What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that?" I'm like "Listen lady, my best friend. MY BEST FRIEND, is Cuban and that's close enough." She's like "I didn't know"
Cargo pant joke REMIX. Yeah. I'm dustin' off a classic. I'm puttin' a new twist on it. You ever buy cargo pants huh? Pockets all down the leg? One day I said to my self, "Daniel, that's a lot of pocket space, why are you wasting it?" I speak to myself like I'm the lord. I hope God speaks English. If I get up to Heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed. Anyway, that's a sidetrack don't worry about it. I have a 5 gallon jar at my house I have to fill with change. I don't stop until I reach the tip top. Then a bell goes off and I know cargo pant day is here at last and I dance. I put the cargo pants on with the belt extra tight. Don't want to have such an embarrassing situation on such a great day. Then I take all the change, fill up all the pockets, that's heavy so you have to train for 2-3 days beforehand. Mostly lower body. I focused on kegel exercises. Then I get a car alarm, not a car alarm with a car, just a car alarm and I hold it to my chest really closely and I walk around the streets of Las Vegas and I wait for the first homeless person to come to me and say "Hey, you got any spare change?" Then I set off the car alarm WOO WOO WOO "YOU HIT THE JACKPOT MOFO" Then I start pelting him with change, and that hurts. But he didn't care, because he won. He finally won. So he's jumping up and down "Call the pit boss. Call the pit boss" And I'm like "Calm down stinky I don't have to it's under 400 dollars" and that's how October-fest started. That's a true story! You have to go to Germany to look it up it's a small town called Boppard it's on the Rhine River. A little boy in his cargo pants had a dream at 75. Yeah that's my style of comedy I like to do a joke that everyone likes and keep taking it farther and farther until nobody has a clue what I'm talking about.
Do you ever play this game as a child: The Floor Is Lava. When you climb on all the furniture at your house and you couldn't touch the floor? You may have called it something different but it meant the same thing: You were poor. I remember going "Mom, I'd like a Nintendo" She's like "The floor is lava!" I'm like "What the hell is wrong with our house? Why can't we afford carpet? It's called 2 jobs bitch get going! I'm a responsibility."