Letra de Gaunt And Sexy

I love the internet because now we have rappers who used to be gangsters and thugs telling us not to download music because it's stealing. HA HA HA HA OH H- oh my- I'm sorry I'm choking on irony.
Do you think there's one case of polite tourettes in the whole world. The whole world! One person that yells out random compliments for no reason at all. "niCe sMiLE. I'm sorry ma'am I have a disease." And you'll be like "Don't worry about it that was kind". "lOvELy hAT!!" I think 2 examples is enough. Next joke.
I hope we find a cure for every major disease. I'm tired of walking 5K.
My favorite holiday HANDS DOWN. Daylights savings time. I love it! I love it. "It's not a real holiday" I don't care I celebrate it like it is I have ravioli and I throw confetti on my bushes. I'm pretty sure that wont catch on either. My friend says to me, he goes "Don't you wish we always had daylight savings time." And I'm like "No, friend with the exact same voice as mine. Because then I wouldn't realize how great it truly is." I'd like to change daylight savings time are ready for this? 1 hour forward- hold on Irvine, I put in whatever city I'm in right there so it feels more local- TO 5 HOURS FORWARD [Snaps]. Cause people with 9-5 jobs have gotten selfish and complacent with the daylight. They get it ALL THE TIME. People that work at night, 1/3 of this country according to a survey I made up for this joke. People that party at night, we get robbed it's not fair, not asking for the whole year, half year, 5 hours forward. What's that mean? That means suns rising at noon. Mm! Guess who doesn't feel like such a piece of shit every morning when he's waking up. "Wow the suns just NOW coming up? I might mail a letter and get groceries today. It's time for me to turn this life around. Tomorrow." AND. AND sexually transmitted diseases would drop off completely. I'll feed you baby birds. 5 hours forward that means suns setting at 2 in the morning and that means guys who are at bars pumping drinks into some girl you get to bring her outside in the daylight. YEAH! You get to be like "Sorry sister I'm gonna go it ALONE. Hehehe- no. No thank you I will see you back in standard time where you belong!" And then she's all like "Oh you'll be back. They always come back for my coochie in the dark. [Pterodactyl noises]." And you'll be like "Thank you Daniel for I almost fucked a Pterodactyl." And you don't want to have sex with a Pterodactyl not at your place they have a 14 foot wingspan they're knocking everything off your counters they're all like [Weird noises]. Then you have to go to target and your on a budget right? That place get's expensive. You go in there for 2 things but then you see the frames. How do you pass up brushed silver? Thank you. That joke had something for everybody. There was Pterodactyls. There was sex. And there was those great knickknacks at target that you cant say no to.
You ever watch the price is right and secretly hope once JUST ONCE when the old lady's spinning the wheel that she get's caught underneath and it snaps her back right in half. And then a pool of blood comes around and it lands on a dollar. Bob pees himself laughing "Ha ha holy cow I cant believe it. I always wanted this to happen. Ah! Get up bitch you got a bonus spin. Take the bonus spin seriously the greens are worth 5,000 don't go and try to show your friends at home how strong you are. One rotation, that's your best odds. That'll get you to the showcase showdown with a little money in your pocket, it's gonna slow your heart rate down, your gonna bid more effectively. You wanna pass on that first showdown right? Carpet couch? QUEER! You don't need it! The second ones got the wave runner!
"Money doesn't buy happiness." That phrase should end with "Just kidding". You live in this country, wrong answer. Money buys happiness. It buys a wave runner. You ever seen a sad person on a wave runner? Have you? Try to frown on a wave runner. Those things are awesome. Money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? They don't. They're not allowed. I once saw a homeless person start to skip, bottle hit him right in the head. Yeah he forgot the rules. He'll remember next time. Yeah I threw it I don't care, why is he happier than me he shouldn't be I'm rich? Spiritually. You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual." I like to reply "I'm not honest but your interesting!" HUH? Let's have cider and talk about your crazy cats.